Private Thoughts Made Public

Or, put another way, what’s up my other nostril. I’ll have to find a different orifice for things to be “up ” when I get to part three…
This time the thing that really infuriates me more than anything else in the whole wide world ever is the phrase “fine toothcomb”. As in “we searched the area with a fine toothcomb but didn’t find a thing.” This is the wrong phrase, people!! Come on, think about it. What the hell is a toothcomb? I’ve brushed my teeth in the past (on occasion) but I can safely say, without fear of contradiction, that I’ve never combed them. Not while being sober and in full control of all my faculties, at least.
The correct phrase, as you all should have figured out by now, is “fine-toothed comb”. In other words, a comb with fine teeth (that’s “fine” as in “thin”, not “fine” as in “lovely”). If you comb something – let’s say it’s your hair – with a fine-toothed comb – let’s say it’s a nit comb – you’re likely to find what you are looking for. In this case, nits. If you’re unlucky. But if you should comb your hair with a “fine toothcomb” then not only will I be asking you where you found one of these non-existant objects, but I will also be asking you what you comb your fine teeth with.
I’m not the only one who feels this way, as the top result in this search proves.
Maybe it’s just me. Deal with it.