My blog is only 5% of the real me. There’s so much about me that I don’t write about on here, therefore only so much that you, the reader, knows about me. Here are some of the things I don’t write about:
- The real reason behind my divorce
- How unfulfilled I feel
- How I’m getting more and more overweight and know I should do something about it but just can’t be bothered 95% of the time
- How I occasionally feel suicidal and wonder if my existence actually benefits anyone at all
- My ability to procrastinate like no-one else on earth
- How the skeletons in my closet are now so numerous that I’m worried they’ll form a skeleton army and overpower me while I’m not looking.
- Various doubts and fears including:
- Do other people like me?
- Am I a likeable person?
- Am I a good father? How can I be a good father when the amount of contact I have with my son is reducing month by month?
- Will I ever meet anyone new?
- Will I ever be able to afford to have a life of my own?
- If I do meet someone new, how will they react when I tell them
about my past?
Some people seem to be able to write about incredibly personal and intimate stuff on their blogs. I can’t do that – I can’t put it online. I’m able to talk to people about some of the things that go through my mind, so I do have an outlet for some of it,
Some of the things I could reveal about myself are not very nice at all, things I didn’t want anyone to know about me but some people know about anyway. I could write reams and reams about those topics, and I’m sure they would generate comments and feedback, and maybe even turn the blog into something people may want to read. This blog could turn into the online equivalent of the Jerry Springer show, where the viewers tune in every week to be titillated and entertained even though they wouldn’t dream of going anywhere near the studio guests with a ten-foot bargepole, but they watch despite all this, in the same way that they’d slow down to take a better look at a car crash.
But I don’t want to be a car crash. Deep down inside I may very well be a car crash, but on the surface I’d like to be seen as a perfectly sensible little runabout, quite indistinguishable from every other perfectly sensible little runabout out there.
