Private Thoughts Made Public

So the day’s going well. Sleep all morning, help my cousin make a kitchen cabinet from timber that was in my old bedroom in my parents house. Go for a bike ride in the late afternoon. Safari, sogoody. Then my ex-wife calls and ruins everything. I’ve had to cut the child maintenance back because I can’t afford to give her what I’ve been giving her. I’m still giving what I legally have to give (i.e. if she gets the Child Support Agency on to me she’s not going to get any extra) and she accuses me of having my priorities all wrong and not putting my son first. We both end up shouting at each other. I slam the phone down on her once and she slams the phone down on me once. Sometimes I feel like I can’t win. When I tell her I can’t afford to make any extra payments she proposes that I remortgage the house, or take out a loan. Yeah right. And how am I supposed to keep up the repayments, might I ask?
To be perfectly honest, this argument over money has made me feel suicidal in the past. Not very suicial, just a little bit. Just enough to start wondering what size hose will fit over the car’s exhaust pipe, but not enough to find myself in a hardware shop looking at bits of hose. It’s taken me the best part of the evening to even get into something remotely resembling an ok mood, just in time for bed. Bugger.