Private Thoughts Made Public

In the first post on this blog I mentioned that I was getting pissed off with people (friends, family etc) always popping up on Yahoo messenger just to ask me for a favour, to ask me a question about something, rather than to enquire how I was, or ask me to come and visit them because it would be lovely to see me.
Now, I don’t mind helping people. I get a buzz out of seeing a happy face, and knowing I had something to do with making that face happy. I like imparting knowledge about something to someone else, especially if that knowledge makes their lives or jobs a little bit easier. I like seeing little light bulbs go on over people’s heads (figuratively speaking). But I’ve come to resent it if I don’t always get thanks, or feel that that’s the only reason people think I’m worth talking to in the first place.
Having read something about the teachings of Buddha this evening, I kept coming across the word “mindfulness”, mindfulness of others and their plight through life. Reading these words over and over again made me realise that I’ve been incredibly selfish over the last few weeks, seeking answers for myself, about myself, about my problems and issues. I should be clearing my mind of all that rubbish, and focus on the fact that being mindful of others, being aware of their problems, being compassionate towards them, is the way to peace and understanding of myself. In other words, happiness should come from helping, not from getting the thanks afterwards.
I may have got it all horribly wrong, and I may have not expressed my thoughts properly here, so it probably reads like a mish-mash of half-formed ideas, but the purpose of this blog, for me, is to help me clarify those ideas, and to see how I’m changing over the course of time. So, right or wrong, insightful or misguided, I’m going to put little thoughts like this on the blog anyway.