There’s not a lot that makes me want to stand up on my soapbox and do some ranting and raving. I’ve talked about a couple of things before, but those posts were an awful long time ago. Has nothing in the world annoyed me enough to write about it on here? Apparently not. However something happened on the way to work this morning that made me just a teeny bit annoyed, and for want of anything better to do I’ll write about it here.
I was travelling up the motorway, running a little bit later than usual (only by about 5 or 10 minutes) and not wanting to be too late for work was in the mood to put my foot down and make up for lost time. However I was prevented from doing this by a van in the outside lane 5 or 6 cars in front of me. This van was trying to overtake another van in the inside lane and failing dismally. Both vehicles were travelling at about 50 to 55 miles per hour.
Now for those of you non-Brits I should explain some things. British readers can skip along to the next paragraph if you wish. The speed limit on motorways (freeways) here is 70 miles per hour, which is a perfectly reasonable speed to do on a long straight road. Travelling at 55-60 is acceptable, and anything slower than that is as much of a hazard as traffic moving at 100. You are also not allowed to overtake on the inside, you have to pull out to overtake, then pull in again afterwards. Most motorways here have three lanes, some of the busier ones have four, but the one I was travelling on only has two.
So there I am, in a queue of (admittedly moving) traffic, watching this van up ahead try to get past the van on the inside lane. The van on the inside wasn’t slowing down to let him move in ahead, and the van overtaking wasn’t slowing down to pull in behind. And the rest of us are stuck behind the pair of them just waiting for a bit of flat or downhill road so that one of them could get some speed up. Three miles this went on for. Three interminable miles during which I was thinking, white-rabbit-style, “I’m going to be late, I’m going to be late”.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind traffic going a bit slower on the motorways if it has to. I don’t mind traffic travelling slowly if there’s too much of it on the road. What I object to is someone travelling too slowly in the outside lane, preventing the people behind from getting on with their journey, when all he has to do is swallow a bit of pride and move back in behind the vehicle he’s trying to overtake in the first place.
I’ve not mentioned white-van-man so far, and the only reason I haven’t mentioned him is because the van holding everyone up was blue. I wish it had been white, and I could have used artistic licence to make it white, but I decided to stick to the truth of the situation today.
I wonder, do these vans have a little needle in the seat that injects the driver with testosterone as soon as he sits down? Something that turns him into an aggressor who always has to win, without giving any regard to anyone else caught in the battle?

Let’s say you own a railway network, and the trains that run on it. You decide to sell it to make some money. You sell the track to one company, and you sell the trains to lots of different companies to run their own services. The company that takes over the tracks sub-contracts the maintenance of those tracks to a third party. So far so governmental.
A few years later there is a derailment. An inquiry finds that some bolts were left by the side of the points. The inquiry shows that the maintenance company is not totally responsible for the crash because they were following maintenance procedures that were put into place before they were given the contract.
I’m sorry? Did I miss something here? Did it not occur to anyone to check what the procedures were, and that everyone understood the procedures completely. According to the BBC News website, “The Rail Safety and Standards Board (RSSB) said since the type of points was introduced in the 1980s, their maintenance was “not fully understood”. ” How can anyone introduce something onto a national rail network, and expect trains weighing several tons and travelling at high speeds, carring thousands of passengers per day, and not “fully understand” how to maintain it? This is just absolutely mind-boggling. Did they not think to find out how to maintain the points? Did it not occur to them to replace the points with something they could maintain? Or to find out who commissioned that type of installation in the first place and ask them how to maintain it? Did the bolts work their way loose or did the engineer(s) simply forget to replace them? Or did they finish the job, look down, and see a couple of nuts and bolts seemingly spare and think “ah fuck it. I’ve had enough for the day. Who’s up for a pint?”
Someone somewhere is responsible for this. It may be the engineer who last maintained that set of points. It may be the foreman, or the site supervisor, or the area manager, or even the chairman of the board. Seven people lost their lives in that derailment, and a report stating that no “conclusive evidence of any one cause” is to blame for the crash is totally unacceptable. I find it unacceptable, I daren’t even think what the families of the deceased must be thinking. No-one has categorically stated that it will never happen again. I get the impression they’re saying it’s “just one of those things” and “we’re working on tightening our procedures”. They should have started by tightening the nuts and bolts.

Here’s my summary of the first few days electioneering by a bunch of self-centred businessmen fighting for their jobs under the guise of “making a better future for all of us”. Yeah right.
Labour: We’re going to do this, this and this.
Conservative: You can’t afford to do that without raising taxes. We’re going to do this, this and this instead. And besides, your policy on that is crap.
Labour: We inherited our policy on that from you in the first place. And you can’t afford to do your stuff without raising taxes. Our way is the only true way.
Conservative: So howcome you said at the last election that you’d change that policy? You’ve not fulfilled your promises, mate. And our numbers do add up, we’ve had them marked by the teacher.
Liberal Democrat: We’re going to tax the rich to pay for it all. But no-one cares about us because we’re never going to get elected in a million years.
Conservative: Your immigration policy is useless. People are pouring into the country day and night and you can’t seem to stop them.
Labour: That is so not true! And even if it is, prove it.
Conservative: We can’t prove it. We can’t find them because the borders are so under-staffed that you have to let them in, and after that they disappear in case we deport them again.
Labour: Ha!
Green Party: Let’s stop building roads and plant more trees instead. The country may very well grind to a halt, but at least it will be pretty to look at.
Liberal Democrat: We’ll get back to electioneering after a few days paternal leave.
It’s all just so petty, isn’t it? “Oh yes we will”, “Oh no you won’t”, “He’s behind you!”
I promised myself I’d try to take an interest in the election this time round. I’d try to make an informed decision and actually vote for someone I believed in, rather than either not bothering or putting down a random cross for one of the minor parties, which is what I’ve done in the past. But after listening to some news bulletins, and reading some newspaper articles, I’m still as stumped as ever. The problem is, of course, that running the country (any country) is such a complicated job, with so many different things going on, that it’s impossible to distil the finances into straightforward simple figures that we can all understand, and it’s also impossible to please all the people all the time.
Let’s see if tonight’s news will give me any more insight. Where’s Screaming Lord Sutch when you need him? (Ok, I think he’s dead, but surely there are other Monster Raving Loonies out there.)

The weekend passed with me completely ignoring the soap opera wedding, the pope’s funeral, the royal soap opera wedding, and the Grand National. On Friday 13 million people sit down to watch two fictional characters in a famous northern-based soap opera get married for the second time. On Saturday less than half that number tune in to watch the future King get married for the second time. Proof, if any were needed, that most of us don’t care about the Royal family any more. I can certainly live without them, and to be honest, I’ve never seen the point.
In fact, I can’t see the point of “celebrity” at all. Gossip magazines outsell newspapers (let’s face it, some so-called newspapers are nothing more than thinly disguised gossip mags) and people in pubs up and down the country are talking about Posh and Becks, Ken and Dierdre, who’s in, who’s out, who’s had surgery, who’s been doing drugs…… I mean, come on, what’s the point? People should be interested in who they want to run the country and how they’re going to go about it. They should be interested in the economy, pensions, British car manufacturers, the health service, taxation, and all the important things in life. There should be demonstrations in the street opposing this, that and everything else.
We need protest singers singing protest songs, we need confirmation that this country deserves to be called “Great” Britain, we need something other than fucking soap characters, sportsmen, actors and pop “stars” to give us something to think about.
Last week, the price of petrol hit a new high. The last time it went this high truck drivers barricaded the refineries and stopped petrol tankers getting out. Within a week the country started to grind to a halt – it was great. Public opinion boiling over into action. These days we all seem to be completely apathetic about everything. I’m not usually one to stand up and be counted, and it seems neither is anyone else. It’s starting to annoy the hell out of me.

I thought the whole point of having a drive-thru at McDonald’s was to make life quicker and easier for us mere mortals who have kids nagging you for a toy from 11am onwards. So at five past twelve I left the house to drive to McD’s about a mile away. I didn’t get back till twenty to one. I was waiting in the queue so long I decided to turn my engine off. So that’s the last time I decide to “do it the quick way”.

Today: A politician decides that he and all his colleagues are going to spend the next month fighting for their jobs, and pretending that they care about the rest of us while they’re at it. The rest of us watch with mild disinterest, and stay in bed on polling day, just to teach them a lesson.
Friday: Pope gets buried. The world stops to watch. Maybe he’ll get resurrected on live television. That’ll be worth a look.
Saturday: The most farcical Royal wedding in history takes place in a registry office. The world will probably stop to watch again, but I doubt there’ll be anything worth looking at on this one.
Saturday (later): Horse Race. Not all of the horses will get out alive, and a lot of people will lose a lot of money.
Oh boy. The excitement is killing me. Anyone got a sandpit I can stick my head in?

They’ve resurfaced the roundabout on the motorway junction near the office. They’ve painted helpful lines on it so vehicles won’t career into each other as they go round. The exit slip road is two lanes, widening to three at the end. They’ve now coned off one of these lanes, presumably so that the two lanes coming off the motorway can go onto the two lanes painted on the roandabout. Even though the roundabout is wide enough for three lanes and I never once saw an accident there in rush hour in six years of working here.
End result: it now takes at least 10 minutes longer to get off the motorway in the morning.

Something bothers me about Christmas. Before I tell you what it is, I must admit (although it’s not a major secret) that I’m Jewish by birth, so Christmas doesn’t mean very much to me in the spiritual sense. Neither does a lot of Judaism to be honest, but that’s just me. My opinion of religion is as follows: each to their own, as long as you don’t start forcing your ideas down my throat thank you very much. I think if more people adhered to this idea then the world would be a slightly more peaceful place. Send the Nobel Peace Prize to my home address wrapped in twenty pound notes. Cheers.
Anyway, back to my point about Christmas. It’s supposed to be the season of goodwill, right? The season to think about friends and relations and others not as fortunate as yourself, right? So why do people keep going on about “What I want for Christmas is….” It’s all got turned round and twisted somewhat. If Christmas is all about giving, then people should be thinking “What I’d like to give for Christmas is…” Anything you receive from anyone else can therefore be considered a bonus. Christmas gifts should be chosen with care and attention. It’s disheartening to think about the number of people who go back to the shops on boxing day to return unwanted Christmas gifts. Returning a Christmas gift shows that a) the person who gave it didn’t put enough thought into it and b) the person who received the gift is rather selfish and didn’t accept the gift in the spirit in which it was supposed to be accepted.
So here’s my big idea: think about your closest friends and relations. Think about something you’d like to give them, something that shows you’ve actually put some consideration into it, a gift that would mean something to them, that would say “thank you for just being you.” And if you can’t think of an appropriate gift, don’t worry. Make a donation to charity on their behalf. I dare anyone who receives a card on Christmas day which says “I donated some money in your name to such-and-such a charity” to then feel cheated and disappointed and moan “But I wanted a playstation/lawnmower/silk tie/bread maker/whatever…” Because that’s not what Christmas is all about.
Quite why Christmas has turned into the season of goodwill I’m not sure. People should be good to each other all year round, not just at Christmastime. But no matter. As long as you give selflessly, and receive graciously, then there won’t be any arguments Enjoy.

So another Formula One season draws to a close. I used to follow F1 keenly and with enthusiasm. I never went as far as actually going to a race, but the tickets are just so damn expensive, aren’t they? I did, however, get up at 3am to watch the opening race from Australia, or failing that then I’d tape it and get up at 7am to watch the tape.
But not any more. It’s just got sooooo boring in recent years with Schumacher winning everything in sight that each race is pretty much a foregone conclusion. I don’t like the single-lap qualifying, it’s just too tedius to mention. After watching half of the first qualifying session after it had been brought in I was so mind-numbingly bored I almost went out to buy a tin of paint so I could watch that dry instead. At least with the old “fastest lap of 12″ qualifying there was some excitement as the hour drew to a close and everyone was on the track at the same time trying to better their grid position.
One of the main problems with F1 these days (apart from the dominance of Ferrari) is that the cars are now so similar and so quick, it’s almost impossible to overtake. Back in the 70′s and 80′s each car looked noticeably different, and each had different characteristics. Some were quicker on the strights, some quicker in the corners, and also the aerodynamics back then were such that getting into another car’s slipstream gave you a big chance of overtaking at the next corner. These days, the car in front is 99% identical to the car behind. Aerodynamic design is so advanced now that every team knows what works and what doesn’t. Manufacturing is so advanced that every team knows what works and what doesn’t. The same with brakes, engines, and everything else.
However, Schumacher can’t carry on forever. He’s got to retire at some point and then we’ll see if Ferrari’s dominance continues. I don’t mind one team dominating throughout a season (or two) but six years is just too much. I’m surprised some of the other teams still bother. Well, in fact, they don’t, as witnessed by Ford pulling the plug on Jaguar Racing.
I feel sorry for DC though. He coulda been a contender, but he never got the hang of single-lap qualifying and is now falling into the ranks of the “also-rans”. Button is still worth watching, I reckon, although it will be interesting to see how well he gets on with the staff at BAR now that the Contracts Board have told him he can’t go to Williams after all.
When I first got into F1 in the early 1980′s, the cars looked different, you never really knew who was going to win a race before it started, and I guess that driver ability and car reliability were much less honed than they are now. Consequently, there were more crashes, spins and retirements. The cars didn’t refuel during the race, so the pit stops were a race in themselves to see who could change the tyres the fastest. Several times I remember seeing someone in the top five stop a couple of laps before the end of a race because they had run out of fuel. Exciting, nail-biting, edge-of-the-seat stuff, it was.
Nowaways three-quarters of the field finish each race, everyone’s as quick and as good as everyone else, the pit stops are slower because it takes longer to put the fuel in than it does to change the tyrs, and none of the top drivers seem to make silly mistakes any more. All in all it adds up to two hours on a Sunday afternoon when I usually go and find something else to
do.
Which is precisely what Bernie Ecclestone doesn’t want to happen.