A summary of world events in Dan's eyes

Today: A politician decides that he and all his colleagues are going to spend the next month fighting for their jobs, and pretending that they care about the rest of us while they're at it. The rest of us watch with mild disinterest, and stay in bed on polling day, just to teach them a lesson.

Friday: Pope gets buried. The world stops to watch. Maybe he'll get resurrected on live television. That'll be worth a look.

Saturday: The most farcical Royal wedding in history takes place in a registry office. The world will probably stop to watch again, but I doubt there'll be anything worth looking at on this one.

Saturday (later): Horse Race. Not all of the horses will get out alive, and a lot of people will lose a lot of money.

Oh boy. The excitement is killing me. Anyone got a sandpit I can stick my head in?