family: May 2005 Archives

I'd forgotten how good it is to have a few days off work! I'm getting the house organised, getting some exercise and also getting on with the ex (for a change!). Plus, the office only called me once yesterday, and that was only to ask me what the password for something was.

Fistly an update on the exercise. I went out on the bike again yesterday and followed the same route I cycled and walked last week. Except this time I wrapped my GPS around the handlebars and used it to measure the distance. Unfortunately it wasn't the ten miles I hoped it was, although it certainly seemed like it. It was in fact 7.8 miles, which is still not to be sniffed at. The course was a lot muddier than it had been recently, and cycling into a headwind for most of the trip certainly made it hard-going. I'll do it again later today. I was looking at my ordnanace survey map of the local area the other day and noticed another walk called the Rochdale Way, which I'll investigate later in the week.

Now for some news on me and the ex. She phoned me yesterday and asked if I'd come and pick them up from school (she doesn't drive and was working at the school as a volunteer). We went back to her parents house and I played football in the garden with him and watched him do a brand new jigsaw puzzle straight off while she cooked his dinner. I also listened to him do some reading. Which was fantastic from my point of view, some normal fatherhood-type stuff for a change. She called me again last night and asked if I'd pick them up from school today as well.

We went out together the weekend before last and he was good as gold for the most part, but he threw a tantrum in the market when we wouldn't buy him a toy. I think my ex handled it wrong, because she was offering him cheap toys and he wanted a more expensive one. Offering him a toy of any description goes against what she was telling me the other week about him having enough toys and that clothes were what he needed. She should have warned him in advance that we were going to be near a toy shop and he could have something small if he was good, but he could only have what we were prepared to offer him. Anyway, he had a tantrum and couldn't be calmed down. We had to manhandle him back to the car. All the tv programmes say that when a child has a tantrum you should ignore him until he calms down. But how can you ignore a child that is hitting and biting you?

He eventually calmed down a bit but was very gringy all the way home. Everyone got angry with everyone else, everyone said things they later regretted, and at one point I raised my voice to her while he was in the car with us. I regretted it and apologised for it, but it shocked my son into stopping his gringing. I kissed and made up with him when we got back to her parents house. While in the car my ex was increasing his punishment for his whining and at one point I said "don't keep punishing him more and more for the same thing. Have a fixed punishment and stick to it" to which she replied "Keep out of this. What do you know about parenting?" And boy, that hurt. It hit me right between the eyes, because she's right. He was 18 months old when we split, and he's now 5 and a half. And what I know about parenting is what I see on television. I didn't argue the point at the time because it would have done no good at all, but I will be bringing it up with her next time we sit down for a civil chat about parenting.

She came up with a plan that if he's good for a week he'll earn a pound, and when he's got enough for the toy that he wants, then he can buy it himself. However if he's naughty once during the week he loses the whole pound. I think the idea needs refining a little, so he can earn 25p per day that he is good, and nothing on the days that he is naughty. That way at least he is rewarded for the days when he is well-behaved.

That's it for now, what's in the past is in the past and I'm just glad things are going ok at the moment. Taking it one day at a time, and looking forward to seeing him again this afternoon.

Today's been the best day of the long weekend for me. Went to the park with my son, neice and mother. Fortunately we went in the morning when the sun was shining - this afternoon the heavens opened and the rain was bouncing off the pavement. And now, the sun is shining again. You just never can tell whether you need a coat or an umbrella over here.

Once again, my son was very well behaved, and it's an absolute pleasure to spend time with him. His reading skills are coming on in leaps and bounds, too.

I dusted off the camcorder today for the first time since last winter. This was partly prompted by the prospect of a day in the park with the kids in the sunshine, and also prompted by the fact that a new version of EditStudio has been released. So I want to have some footage to play around with. I may even compile a quick 30-second summary of the day and post it here - watch this space.

But tonight I'm going to be glued to the television screen watching the final of the World Snooker Championships. This year the final is between Matthew Stevens, the world no 6, and Shaun Murphy, the world no 42. Nurphy's had to qualify to get into this year's championships, and he's currently 12-11 behind. First to 18 takes the trophy.

We're facing the prospect for the first time since 1979 of the new World Champion not being one of the top 16 players. I don't know how well snooker is received elsewhere in the world, but here it's a pretty big sport. The winner gets a quarter of a mil, not bad for 17 days work! First to 18 wins! It's a close match so far and hopefully both players will keep their cool into this evening's session. I'd hate for one of the guys to lose it completely and get hammered right at the end.

Come on Murphy!