What's dangerous about this is that there's actually a perfectly harmless program that's part of the Windows installation, called lsass.exe (that's an L at the beginning there). A lot of people would open up task manager, see lsass running, and think it's Isass (with a capital i). They think they're infected, and then go and download a "protection tool" that could well cause more harm than it claims to fix.

As ever, keep your wits about you, and research a problem before downloading anything that claims to fix problems on your PC.

For more accurate information about lsass, look at the Wikipedia Entry

I don't know which is worse....

I remember I overslept, because the storm had cut the power and my clock radio alarm didn't go off. I woke in a panic, and rushed to get to work. I travelled to work on the bus at the time, and when I got to the main street, I found trees on the road, shop signs sprawled all over the place, roof tiles on the road and so on. Of course the buses wouldn't be running, so I found a phone box and called in to the office (remember, no mobile phones in those days!)

I was told that there wasn't a lot going on, but to come in anyway if I could. Work was only a few miles from where I was living (maybe three, three and a half), so I walked in. I got there about 11am, only to discover that although they had power, the current was fluctuating and they didn't want to risk switching the servers on. So my colleagues and I had a relaxing day at the office and spent a couple of hours in the pub at lunchtime. Actually this wasn't unusual as we worked flexitime we took short lunch breaks during the week and had a two-hour blowout on a Friday!

I can't remember too much about the following few days, presumably it took a little while to clear away all the debris and for everything to get back to normal, I think by the following Monday I was able to get to work as normal on the bus...

And now that I've written all that, it doesn't sound all that impressive! We had some high winds, some trees got blown down, I walked to work and spent two hours in the pub... h'mmmm.....

So, comment away!

What's the point of religion? Do people who pray every day really believe that their lives are made better by the act of prayer? Or do they just believe that if they don't pray then their lives will be made much worse?

I know that people take comfort in the words of the bible. Is that because they can't think of a solution to their problems on their own? They have to turn to a "how to do it" manual?

Let's say, for the sake of argument, that there is a God. Only one God, and he is omnipresent, and omnipotent. He knows everything that we are thinking, everything that has ever happened and everything that will happen. So, by extension, he knows if you're inherently a good person, or inherently an evil person. He knows that good people can occasionally do bad things, and feel sorry about those things, and he knows that bad people can occasionally do good things (although I have no idea if they feel good about those things or not. But God knows. If he exists). Anyway, feeling good about yourself or feeling sorry for yourself does not change your inherent nature. So, given that God knows all this, and given that we are going to go to heaven or hell based on whether we are inherently good or evil, will praying make the slightest bit of difference?

Let's also say, for the sake of argument, that Bob Geldof does not believe in God. Does that mean that he is going to hell because he is a non-believer? But Bob is an inherently good person, he saw that something was wrong with the world and set about changing it, improving the lives of millions of people. So should he go to heaven because he is an inherently good person? (Actually I wrote this a while ago and chose Bob as an example here because he's pretty well-known as being a "good person". I had no idea if he believes in God or not - according to this interview, he doesn't).

I'm not sure if I believe in God, or heaven, or hell. I do know that it is better to be a good person than an evil person, that treating fellow human beings with respect and kindness will have its paybacks. What goes around, comes around. But just because I don't go to a specified building at a specified time of the week, and read specific words from a specific book, does that make me a bad person? You can teach children right from wrong without touching the bible (or any religious writings). They learn what they need to know from fairy tales, fables, ghost stories and all the other stuff that kids lap up. My son knew that lying was bad after he watched Pinocchio, we didn't have to quote the bible to him to teach him that.

The human brain is a remarkable thing. Given enough time, it will usually sort out its own problems. When we sleep, when we dream (or daydream), this is our brain making sense of the outside world. If you have a problem rattling about in your head, a moral issue or whatever, how do you go about solving it? Do you write out a list of pros and cons, an action plan? Do you go to church or wherever and ask God for guidance? Or do you sleep on it? I would wager that whichever option you chose, you'd come up with a solution to the problem within a few hours. Now, did you logically work out a solution? Did God answer your prayers? Or did your brain make sense of the problem while you were sleeping?

I have a feeling that people feel comfortable with prayer because it acts as a way of distracting the mind from the normal day-to-day problems, and gives it some space to sort things out on its own. Meditation does the same thing, I would imagine yoga does too. The brain also has time to think about the day's problems while you're at the gym. So if prayer is simply a means to distract the brain, why not go for a walk instead?

My parents are Jewish and although no-one in my family is observant I was sent to a Jewish school. I learned how to read hebrew and how to say the prayers. But I don't remember being taught all that much about what the prayers actually mean. So when I go to synagogue (about once every 10 years if current stats are anything to go by) I can still just about read the hebrew words and tell where the rabbi is up to, but the rest of it is like watching a foreign film with a blindfold on. And I get the impression that 98% of people that go to synagogue when I go (Jewish new year and Yom Kippur, the day of atonement) are only going so that other people can see that they went. I don't think anyone really goes to atone for their sins, because the most obvious sin is that they haven't set foot inside a synagogue for the last 12 months.

There are many different religions in the world, each believing different things. Some religions are more tolerant than others of people that either don't believe, or believe something different. Over the course of history, how many people have died as a result of religious fighting? If people are praying to God and calling for an end to war, do you think he's listening?

Questions, questions. Anyone out there got any answers?

Why did I restart? Well, I missed it, quite frankly. I don't know if I'll get into the same level of reading other people's blogs, building up a readership, getting comments and so on. Blogging is a very personal thing (so why put it all on the internet for any old man and his dog to find? Who knows...)

Anyway, it's all back up there, it's all complete, and I'm happy it's all in one place again. Would be a shame to lose all that writing from the past, even if most of it is complete waffle...

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say 'God bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

There were a few things in there that hit home to me immediately, and I'm sure some of these words will resonate with other people out there as well.

Sam's spicy sausages sizzle in the saucepan for Sunday supper.
Daddy's drunk dog drums on dead ducks.
Ollie the olympic octopus overflips in October
Zebra's zips zig-zag on Zoe's zither
Mummy's mad monkey minds me on Monday midnight eating many mostly mini minerals
Crocodile Carl can't catch cream cars.
Charlie Chimp chugs chocolate and chews cheesy chips on Tuesday in Cheshire
Happy Homer's "hello" hat
When Water walks he waves wildly at William and Wilberforce
See Simon sitting on the soldier's shoulders so he can see the sky
Tom's tabletop tap-dancing tortoise.

Well, we had fun with them, anyway!

Home

I've been thinking for a while about remortgaging my house, freeing up some of the equity in it, and using the extra cash to make some home improvements. And my house certainly does need quite a lot of improving. I could do with a new kitchen, new boiler, new fireplace and carpet in the lounge, new back door, fix the leaks on the front door and the front window, make sure the place is properly insulated, and decorate it from top to bottom. That's all going to take time and money, and I need to calculate a) if I can afford it and b) if the improvements will increase the value of the house sufficiently to make it worthwhile.

Work

I've been working for the same company for the last nine years now. The job is ok, and I don't have any problems doing it, but the salary isn't brilliant, and the work environment could be better. The place is on an industrial estate, in what looks like a converted warehouse, and there are no windows so I can't see what's happening outside. I get no sunlight, no daylight even, and that's really starting to bug me. Also, the place I work is 20 miles from where I live, and the time and cost of commuting is also starting to get me down.

I've got a couple of weeks off at the moment, and I'm going to do some research into home improvements, remortgaging, finding a new job, skills etc. Might be a lot to ask for in two weeks though. I'm also planning on getting to the gym a bit more often (yeah right)

The more we chatted (online and on the phone), the more she realised that a meeting wasn't too far away. And she felt more and more guilty about lying to me about her age and her weight. So she sent me an email telling me the truth and saying that it might be best if we called it a day. I wasn't really prepared to accept that at the time, I insisted that we at least met up and put faces to names, and take it from there. Weight is something that can always be worked on, and although there was nothing we could do about the age gap, you never know until you try, do you?

So we went for a drink, and maybe with high hopes we decided to give it a go. However over the next couple of weeks it became apparent that I wasn't putting as much effort into the relationship as I had done to start with, and the reason for this was that, well, to be honest, I just didn't fancy her, physically. She was (and in fact still is) 12 years older than me, and subconsciously this fact kept gnawing away at me.

I'm learning more about myself with each relationship that passes. I know more about what I want, and who I want to share it with. I know more about how difficult the type of relationship I want is, and how much time and effort I need to put into it. Maybe it's time for me to take a step back from finding a partner and concentrate on some of the other goals I outlined in my first couple of posts. More about this soon I think.

C, I wish you all the best, I hope I didn't hurt your feelings too much, and wish you all the best for the future.

Yes folks, today I have mainly been picking knives up off the floor after they missed their targets. I heard about this day out on a forum somewhere on the internet (no, I'm not going to tell you where!) and thought "hey, that sounds like fun!" I've always been a bit of a have-a-go person, having done fire eating, circus skills etc in the past. Knife throwing seemed to fit in with all that, so why not give it a go!

The directions to the place were excellent, it was about 55 miles away from home so I gave myself plenty of time to get there. I wasn't sure I was in the right place though, as there had seemed to be a lot of interest in the day out on the forum, but there were no cars in the car park. However the directions or my navigational skills didn't let me down and within 10 minutes I was lobbing sharp pointy things at bits of tree trunk on the wall.

My initial throws were very much like a dart player, I had the same stance as a dart player - right foot forward so I could get the throwing arm nearer the target - and I was also trying to aim the knife. John, the instructor, put me right straight away, showing me that if I put my left foot forward, and started with my right arm higher, the knife would fly straighter and stronger.

After just 20 minutes or so I was getting more knives in the target than I was getting on the floor, which is always a good sign. John had several types of knives to throw, different sizes and weights, and also a tomahawk, which I threw at the end of the day (mainly because I'd forgotten all about it and wanted to have a go with it before I left!) In total about 5 or 6 people turned up, so we weren't fighting over which targets to throw at, and I was there from about 11am to 4pm, so made a full day of it.

I'll definitely be going back and doing this again - it was great fun!

But during the day I heard a few things you don't really want to hear while moving house:

"Have you seen the box? You know, the one with the thing in it?"
"Get that washing machine off my hand!" (not only did I not want to hear that one, I didn't really enjoy saying it either!)
"Here's a cup of tea, sorry I couldn't find the sweeteners."
"Er.... I thought you had the keys...."

My friend M and I keep having our ups and downs. She still turns to me for relationship advice, but if I try to give advice based on 20% of the available information, and jump to the wrong conclusions, she gets very upset. We had a falling out last weekend, and although we've sorta made up since, she suggested that we didn't get too involved in each other's private lives in the future. This will certainly cut down on the number of arguments and fallings out we have, but whether or not it will lead to a slow deterioration of the friendship remains to be seen.

M and C both have their own opinions of each other, which are (in both cases) a bit superficial and stereotyped. Muggins here is stuck in the middle! C tried to call off our relationship last weekend as she hadn't been entirely honest with me about her age, and she thought that when we met up I would take one look at her and walk out of the door. She knew that the next stage would be to meet, we'd chatted online for four weeks, been texting for three, and on the phone to each other for a week. There was absolutely no reason for us not to meet, apart from this little white lie about her age (and if I'm being honest, her weight as well, but weight can always be worked on).

I persuaded C not to call the whole thing off, let's go for a drink anyway, see if there's anything there, and see where it takes us. We went for a drink last Monday, and I'm going round to hers this evening. It's still very much early days, of course, but I wasn't going to accept being dumped just like that!

So M thinks C is an online player and has me under her thumb. C thinks M is selfish and just talks to me when she wants me for something. Fortunately, since they live so far apart, ne'er the twain shall meet. Personally, I like them both, and I want to be close to them both as well. One as a friend, one as a lover. Why should it be so bloody difficult?

On another matter, my cousin S has sorted herself out a new flat to rent and moves in on Sunday. Looks like she will be getting a divorce, but at least her husband is talking to her on reasonable terms at the moment and not biting her head off down the phone all the time.

Anyone got a rock I can crawl back under?